me The Sunny Side of Being Bi

A safe place to celebrate, discover, and create bi culture. Hugs and tea all around.

LOOKING FOR WISE YOUNG WOMEN WHO IDENTIFY AS BISEXUAL, PANSEXUAL, FLUID OR BY ONE OF THE OTHER MIDDLE SEXUALITIES

robynochs:

I’m planning to do a series of issues of the Bi Women Quarterly on intersectionality, with the first theme being “Intersection: Age.” 

Here’s the official call for writing:
We don’t exist in a vacuum. Age is one of the intersections of identity that shapes how we experience our sexual orientations. Let’s have an intergenerational dialogue. Write a letter – or have a conversation with women (or a woman) significantly older or younger than you. What do you want them know about what it’s like to be you? What impact does your age havimage

e on how you experience your sexual orientation? What words of wisdom or thoughts would you like to share? We want to hear from you.

 I’m hoping you will consider submitting something. It can be quite short (even a a few sentences that I could include in a text box or a quote) or longer (up to 1500 words) and can take the form of poetry, prose or artwork.

Submissions are due by May 1st and should be sent to biwomeneditor@gmail.com and submission guidelines are here. Please include a photo (if you’d like) and a 1-2 sentence bio that includes your age. 

Please let me know if you intend to write.

My deep appreciation to all of you,
Robyn
biwomeneditor@gmail.com

robynochs   188 04.04.14

Some reasons why conversations about bisexuality online aren’t useless

twbasketcase:

vegansexy:

Or conversations about anything, really. First, it’s important to remember that everything that happens on the internet also happens IRL. You are an IRL person sitting at an IRL computer typing IRL thoughts based on your IRL readings, experiences, conversations, thoughts, etc. So that’s established as indisputable fact before we move on: there is not part of the internet that is not also part of, impacted by, connected to, etc. by “real life”. 

But it’s more than just typing up your thoughts and experiences, and on tumblr it’s pretty obvious that being a part of an online community can help someone pay rent and not get evicted that month, or shame people for bigoted behavior and maybe get them to change, or mobilize people to go to a protest or action much more quickly than has been possible in the past. 

Which is why I write about bisexuality so much. Living in a conservative, dangerous environment is very isolating. At work once I mentioned I was going on a date with a woman: my boss pressed her lips together and got weird, and just from a casual mention of my weekend plans I could have lost my job without legal recourse (as Oklahoma does not have protections for this sort of thing). Someone who has lived in my apartment complex for 15 years and has the ear of the landlady asked me what I did for a living: I had to lie and use a lot of euphemisms to obscure the fact that I teach sex ed and consent workshops on campus, in addition to waiting tables. He asked me if it was based on a “Christian curriculum”. When I said it was not, he said, “oh”. I was worried about possible eviction since I am not protected by law from that either. I don’t bring women alone to my apartment, I meet people away from my living space if we go on dates. I can’t risk getting kicked out or fired; everyone is watching me, they remind me of that every day.

I am open and highly visible in my community. People recognize me everywhere I go, message me on FB when they have questions they can’t ask in public or because they just don’t know how to talk about abortion or queer stuff out loud. I do so at some risk. 

So I am on the internet a lot to connect with other people and learn and challenge my own bullshit and have supportive queer people in my life. I have my close friends, but many of them have moved away to more accepting climates so they could have breathing room, safety, a fucking chance to date someone for the first time or be out and open without constantly holding your breath. I’m on the internet talking about this stuff so much because I am constantly looking for a place that is safer for me, too. 

And it seems like I’m constantly calling people out for being shitty to bisexual people and there’s a reason for that. I am looking for a new home where I can find support and an active community and I don’t want to go where I’m not wanted. Where bisexual is considered “toned down” (literally saw a popular feminist blogger write this two days ago), or not queer enough, or any of the other bullshit that shows up on this website but I know is lingering in the minds of many people I might reach out to when I move to my new home. 

Even the queer kids here get infected with this nonsense. A person a couple years younger than me tried to pull some bullshit division-making about pansexuality and bisexuality and it was like she was a robot, just repeating some crap she read on the internet almost verbatim from the crap I read here. And when I challenged her on it she couldn’t argue that I was wrong. She was hungry for more in the way of queer community and education and acceptance, and she latched onto some destructive pieces of that and then introduced biphobia into my IRL queer space. To think this was isolated would be foolish.

And I’m so fucking tired of defending myself to bigots and fighting for my right to just exist in a hostile space, I don’t want to do it in a supposedly “queer-friendly” space either. I want to challenge those things so that when I do move, maybe someone has pushed back against this ridiculous division-making and erasure that happens at the expense of bisexuals here and in other online spaces.

It’s personal and self-motivated. I do it because it’s the right thing to do. I do it because I have to defend myself and other people like me because who else will? I do it because I would really like to feel safer and more comfortable and welcome if I do move away from my home. 

Fuck. I don’t do this to hear myself talk. I do it because changing minds here, pushing back here, dealing with bullshit here is also a real life pursuit that I desperately need to make my real life livable. 

Very well said. I live in a very small town myself, so I feel like I can relate to a lot of this.

texasdyke   44 04.04.14

"Validation is probably the single most important factor determining whether an achieved bisexual identity can be positive. Validation can occur from within, but few of us are strong enough to establish and maintain a positive sense of identity alone. Validation from others affirms our feelings and recognizes that our experience of loving is what we say it is… When we cannot validate ourselves and when we are also denied validation by others, we may begin to doubt our experience or feel shame about it."

— Ann Fox (Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out, p. 35)

(via bisexualftw)

bisexualmind   177 04.04.14

Anonymous submitted: Does anyone else ever struggle with feeling perceived as immature when we announce that we're bisexual, and if so, how do you combat those feelings? I almost always get this... this look, I can't really define it, but it's like, just this look and it drives me crazy.

bisexual-community:

Dan Savage has been harping for years on how bi is just a phase on the way to a person’s true adult gay or Lesbian identity. Is it any wonder people look at you like “Oh, grow up?” But long-time bi activists, people like Loraine Hutchens, Lani Ka’ahumanu, and Abilly Jones, who have been fighting for the rights of non-monosexual people all their lives, would all say it is a mighty long phase, because they are in their 60’s and 70’s, and STILL BISEXUAL.

Indeed, Lisa Diamond studied bisexuals for a decade and proved Dan wrong; bisexuality is a stable sexual identity, not a phase. Not only that, quite a number of people start out identifying as gay or Lesbian, and then realize that they are actually bisexual, and have to come out of the closet a second time. So it works both ways….

So I suggest you wear the wonderful BRC T-Shirt “It’s not a phase - it’s my life.” 

bisexual-community   122 04.04.14

lunarshinobi:

reallyfoxnews:

Fox News headlines v. real headlines, part 2425183. 

The brunette part is really important.

Fun fact, our hair color reveals our place in pansexual society. Blondes are our record keepers. The great librarians, they collect, analyze, store, and distribute information to the rest of us. They are blonde because they reflect the light of knowledge. Those with Black Hair are our inventors. They investigate, produce, and teach new technologies so that we may thrive in future times. Their hair is black because of their frequent dives into the void of the unknown. Burnettes are our ambassadors. They interact with people, plants, and animals, forging bonds that can protect us when we are threatened. Their hair is brown because of their deep connection to the earth.

And as for redheads.

You don’t want to know the purpose of the Red Heads. But may their hellfire consume our enemies.

(via bidyke)

reallyfoxnews   121627 04.03.14

Anonymous submitted: I've always really enjoyed your blog, and you seem like a lovely person. I'm about to go home to my biphobic parents for the holidays. I've been experiencing a lot of microaggressions lately and I could really use some owls.

goshdarnbisexuals:

bidyke:

a-little-bi-furious:

I care not for biphobia on christmas.

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It should be a happy time of year for everyone, right???

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It makes me sad that this is not the case.

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And angry.

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And a bit tired.

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But then I remember…

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This picture exists:

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And it’s christmas!

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And there are some fantastic bisexuals out in the world who make eachother happy with owl sharing and anti-biphobia jokes, as well as snuggle up in times of crisis.

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You’re not alone anon and this is not forever, and nomatter what happens, you are always valid and loveable.

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Have a Merry Christmas anon.

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Peace out!

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<3 Solidarity to all bi people who celebrate Christmas and need to deal with their families.

Smooches for everyone

a-little-bi-furious   196 04.03.14
bisexual-community:

myqueergirlfeelings:

littledeconstruction:

sofachocolatecats:

a-little-bi-furious:

myqueergirlfeelings:

some days i feel aggressively bisexual and wear this sweater to work 

*cozily aggressively bisexuals*

that is a gorgeous gorgeous jumper *jealous*

is that handspun, too?!

ahhhh i wish!!! i got it at jc penny but it’s also online! 

OMG a bi pride sweater!!! And it’s on sale $29.99 AND it comes in sizes from small to x-large!

bisexual-community:

myqueergirlfeelings:

littledeconstruction:

sofachocolatecats:

a-little-bi-furious:

myqueergirlfeelings:

some days i feel aggressively bisexual and wear this sweater to work 

*cozily aggressively bisexuals*

that is a gorgeous gorgeous jumper *jealous*

is that handspun, too?!

ahhhh i wish!!! i got it at jc penny but it’s also online

OMG a bi pride sweater!!! And it’s on sale $29.99 AND it comes in sizes from small to x-large!

myqueergirlfeelings   310 04.03.14

"If your community is actually really big but no one knows it because social scientists can’t get funding to research it…because it’s not big enough, you might be a #bisexual."

(via tiggyupland)

(via robynochs)

tiggyupland   227 04.02.14

gailsimone:

setfabulazerstomaximumcaptain:

nappy-sol:

gaywrites:

The world’s largest communal same-sex wedding ever took place this Sunday, when around 130 same-sex couples participated in a mass wedding in Rio De Janeiro. While Brazil’s new marriage equality law has not been officially passed, some offices have already begun accepting marriage license applications from same-sex couples. Love it. (via The Advocate)

I started tearing up…this is…just…sigh

Look all the POCS my chest is on fire

Yep.

This is the good stuff.

(via bemusedlybespectacled)

gaywrites   18877 04.02.14

Anonymous submitted: Did Daley actually say he was bi? Because I was actually jut calling him non-monosexual until I found out what he expresses himself as. If he actually is bi though, it'll be really great to have another rad bi person to look up to!

bisexual-community:

No. What Daley actually said was  “Of course I still fancy girls,” he said, “but right now I’m dating a guy, and I couldn’t be happier.” He did not otherwise define himself. As this article points out, that is something that is easier for privileged celebrities to do than the rest of us..

bisexual-community   27 04.02.14